Divorce Mediation:
A Less Stressful,
Lower Cost Divorce
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A mediated divorce not only can be much less stressful and less expensive than a litigated divorce, but mediation also produces agreements that tend to be more creative and satisfactory to spouses than court-imposed divorce decrees.
Less Stress with Divorce Mediation
Mediation is a voluntary process where you and your spouse, working with a trained mediator, make the decisions that work best for you and your family. The mediator helps facilitate the discussions, but the decisions you make will be determined by you and your spouse, and not angry lawyers or a disinterested judge.
There is no exchange of letters from attorneys making demands. Rather, you and your spouse sit down and talk about how to divide up marital assets and parent the children. It often takes only a few sessions to reach agreement, though the number of sessions can depend on the complexity of your situation and how ready each spouse is to negotiate.
You’re also not bound by legal “defaults”. In mediation you can be more creative in resolving issues than a court might allow. The final agreement will be one that you and your spouse negotiated and both feel comfortable with. You always have the option of having an attorney review your agreement.
Can tempers rise during mediation? Of course they can, but the mediator is there to guide you back to the important effort of figuring out how your life will look after separation or divorce. If tempers continue to flare, then mediation might not be right for you right now.
A Lower Cost Alternative to Litigation
You’ve seen the TV shows or heard the horror stories from friends and neighbors. Two spouses “lawyer up” and end up spending their retirement on an acrimonious divorce process. They either settle right before the trial starts, which doesn’t start for months and months after the lawyers are hired, or a judge issues a decision that makes no one happy.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Here are some import ways in which the divorce mediation process is different, and helps you and your spouse to save money for life after divorce:
- In the mediation process, you pay as you go, per session. Usually the mediation process takes only a few sessions.
- Spouses often share the expense of mediation, or determine together how the mediator is paid.
- There is no costly back and forth between lawyers. (But note that it’s always an option for spouses to hire their own lawyers.) Discussions are conducted by you and your spouse, with the aid of the mediator, who is there to keep you on track and focused.
- There are no trial or trial preparation expenses. In a successful mediation, there is no trial at all! You never have to set foot in court.
You’re not alone. A Professional Divorce Mediator is with you every step of the way.
If you reach an impasse, the mediator can assist you and your spouse by helping you to formulate ideas that can eventually lead to a sustainable agreement. An open and free exchange of information allows each spouse to negotiate with the other in complete confidence.
A divorce mediator can help keep conflict from escalating out of control, allowing you to make good decisions in moments of stress.
And remember, ultimately those decisions will be made by and owned by you and your spouse, reached during a process where both of you have had a full opportunity to hear and be heard.
A mutual agreement reached through divorce mediation is one that is much more likely to be readily adhered to than one that is imposed by a court after contentious litigation.
Nancy Ryan Vavassis, Esq., is an experienced divorce mediator.
Servings clients from Nassau County and Suffolk County
Contact Harbor Divorce Mediation today for a Free Consultation
We look forward to speaking with you!